tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57535670494086989372024-02-06T21:39:34.423-05:00FranzenmuthNo Horses - Only MulesChristinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.comBlogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-75744859244035284462016-02-14T09:11:00.000-05:002016-02-14T09:11:04.411-05:00Detroit Red Wings Valentine 2016Well hello there! It's been a long, long time since I updated this blog of mine, but I could never disappoint you on Valentine's Day!<br />
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It's a long-standing tradition of mine that I make ridiculous Red Wings valentines for your use on Valentine's Day. Since high school, I have rued the fact that no store makes NHL valentines (at least not in any meaningful capacity).<br />
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For the last three years, <a href="http://octopusthrower.com/2015/02/13/detroit-red-wings-valentines-2015-curly-fries-loose-goose-weiss-guys/" target="_blank">I posted them at Octopus Thrower</a>, but since I departed there nearly a year ago, I decided to put them up where I started blogging. There aren't as many this year as in years past, but there are some new additions.<br />
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Enjoy!<br />
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And a few vintage ones for you as well:</div>
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<br />Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-14780667151290112142013-12-18T14:19:00.000-05:002013-12-18T14:19:21.460-05:00Lemon of De-Troy-t<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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For the past two days, @helmerroids and I have been discussing Red Wings hockey on Twitter using altered quotes from <i>The Simpsons</i>. Case in point:<br />
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en">
<a href="https://twitter.com/helmerroids">@helmerroids</a> "The fingers you use to play hockey are too fat. To obtain a special playing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now."<br />
— Christina Roberts (@franzenmuth) <a href="https://twitter.com/franzenmuth/statuses/413031474208571392">December 17, 2013</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en">
<a href="https://twitter.com/franzenmuth">@franzenmuth</a> and now someone just said "radical" Lashoff is not going to be pleased. That's his thing that he says!!<br />
— Sara Solstice (@helmerroids) <a href="https://twitter.com/helmerroids/statuses/413321187876667392">December 18, 2013</a></blockquote>
<script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>
It continued into today, and I finally got up the creative nerve to mash up The Simpsons episode "Lemon of Troy" with Red Wings hockey. Now, it's not going to be the episode in its entirety, but rather scenes that work with the Wings' situation right now.<br />
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This isn't supposed to make sense from scene to scene, though the characters stay the same. Just enjoy the nerdiness. <br />
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If you aren't a huge <i>Simpsons</i> nerd, you may not get much out of this. If you are and you love hockey...welcome, my new best friend(s). And enjoy "Lemon of De-Troy-t."<br />
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<a name='more'></a><br />
<b>Datsyuk:</b> You know, Hank, I've been thinking: this team ain't so bad. Good teammates, lots of goals, numerous Stanley Cup sightings... when you get right down to it, Detroit's a pretty cool place to play hockey.<br />
<b>Hockey fates:</b> Detroit sucks!<br />
<b>Datsyuk:</b> Hey! Stop talking bad about my team!<br />
<b>Fates:</b> Why don't you make me?!<br />
<b>Datsyuk:</b> I don't take trash out, I deke around it.<br />
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----<br />
<a href="http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/content/screenshots/episodes/2f22/2f22_046.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/content/screenshots/episodes/2f22/2f22_046.jpg" width="200" /></a><br />
<b>Kronwall:</b> EVERYBODY COME QUICK! SOMETHING'S HAPPENED! NO TIME TO EXPLAIN!<br />
[Everyone rushes out]<br />
<b>Coaching staff: </b>No, players, no! Your health is important... groin injuries...etcetera... well, I tried.<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<b>Datsyuk:</b> Half our team is injured! We've got to get them back!<br />
<b>Mrazek: </b>You mean going on IR? We'll never make it out alive...<br />
<b>Datsyuk: </b>Those players are a part of our team and as hockey players, the backbone of our roster. We'll get them back or choke Detroit's river with our dead!<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lo85g8GMAQ1qzzd6io1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lo85g8GMAQ1qzzd6io1_500.png" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Babcock and Holland</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>Babcock:</b> Pav, where are you going?<br />
<b>Datsyuk:</b> Coach, you won't believe this, but something you said the other day really got through to me. And now, I am going to teach some kids a lesson.<br />
<b>Babcock: </b>I choose to take that literally!<br />
<b>Datsyuk:</b> DEATH TO INJURED RESERVE!!!<br />
<b>Holland:</b> Yes, Pavel is a hockey tutor now. Tute on, Pavel! Tute on!<br />
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----<br />
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<b>Datsyuk</b>: Okay, here's how it goes: I'm the leader, Lashoff is my loyal sidekick, Kronwall is the tough guy, Ericsson is the smart guy, and Smith is the quiet religious guy who ends up going crazy. And now, the time has come to cross this line into mystery and danger...to step out of childhood hockey and become men.<br />
<br />
---<br />
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<a href="http://simpsonsscreenshots.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/bartsgivenuphistutoring.png?w=630&h=472" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://simpsonsscreenshots.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/bartsgivenuphistutoring.png?w=630&h=472" width="200" /></a></div>
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<b>Babcock: </b>It's almost practice time. Do you know where Datsyuk is tutoring?<br />
<b>Nyquist:</b> Pfff, tutoring? The only thing Pavs is teaching is guerilla combat on the IR.<br />
<b>Babcock:</b> ...Well...do you have a number where we can reach him?<br />
<b>Nyquist: </b><i>No! </i>Babs! Datsyuk and some other guys ran off to wage war on the injured reserve!<br />
<b>Babcock: </b>[gasps] KEN! COME QUICK! DATSYUK QUIT HIS TUTORING JOB AND JOINED A VIOLENCE GANG!<br />
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----<br />
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<b>Ericsson</b>: Okay, piglet, start squealing! Why are you on the IR?!<br />
<b>Tootoo</b>: Uhh...I'm <i>not</i> on the IR. You guys waived me and I play on the Griffins now!<br />
<b>Eaves</b>: Hey! <i>Nobody</i> hassles my Griffins teammate!<br />
<b>Ericsson</b>: Hey! And no one manhandles the bosom chum of Niklas Kronwall!<br />
[Kronwall appears]<br />
<b>Kronwall</b>: Aww, geez... I never hang out with him, normally. [He pulls Eaves off Ericsson]<br />
<b>Ericsson</b>: Hark to the tale of Kronwall<br />
And the teammate he loved so dear!<br />
They remained the best of pairings<br />
For years and years and years!<br />
<br />
----<br />
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<a href="http://cdn.static.ovimg.com/episode/55578.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://cdn.static.ovimg.com/episode/55578.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<b>Datsyuk:</b> It's no use, Lashoff. If we're going to get our injured players back, I've <i>got</i> to go undercover.<br />
[walks up to injured players]<br />
<b>Datsyuk</b>: Hello there, fellow IR players!<br />
<b>Weiss</b>: Wait a minute, if you're on the IR, how come we've never seen you?<br />
<b>Datsyuk</b>: I just got here.<br />
<b>Weiss:</b> Oh, story checks out...<br />
[Zetterberg arrives]<br />
<b>Zetterberg:</b> We just got work there's non-injured players here!<br />
<b>Datsyuk:</b> Curse those healthy, handsome devils!<br />
<b>Zetterberg:</b> We're going up to the Joe rafters to paint "Healthy Players Suck" in huge letters. That way, whenever they look up at their banners, they will realize that they suck!<br />
<b>Weiss:</b> Ho ho, radical!<br />
<b>Lashoff: </b>[over walkie talkie] QUIT COPYING ME!<br />
<b>Zetterberg: </b>You know...I wish there was a healthy player here right now. I'd fill his mouth with stinkbugs!<br />
<b>Datsyuk:</b> NOT IN MY MOUTH!...is what the kid would say! To the Joe!<br />
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----<br />
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<b>Ericsson</b>: Awww, a locked door. The impenetrable fortress!<br />
<b>Lashoff:</b> We'll never get our players back now!<br />
<b>Datsyuk</b>: Keep your voices down, boys: we didn't come this far to get found out.<br />
<b>Holland</b>: [from the bushes] FOUND 'EM! You guys are in <i>big</i> trouble, running away from practice like this!<br />
<b>Datsyuk</b>: But the IR has half our team!<br />
<b>Holland:</b> I don't care what excuse you've got! <i>Nothing</i>'s gonna stop me in the middle of this speech! You're gonna--HALF OUR TEAM?!<br />
----<br />
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<br />
There are plenty of hilarious parts I missed, but in the spur of the moment writing, I couldn't come up with anything super hilarious, so I opted to not include it.<br />
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Hopefully at least a handful of you people enjoyed it and this wasn't simply for my own amusement...Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-4831313772142386582013-06-05T15:57:00.000-04:002013-06-05T15:57:46.545-04:00Chara the BrontosaurusPuck Daddy had an accurate description of Sidney Crosby chirping at Zdeno Chara during Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals.<br />
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It was so accurate and so hilarious that, despite it not being the Red Wings, I had to draw a silly doodle for it.<br />
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Nothing else really needs to be said at this point. Go Bruins.Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-50129887817688339192013-01-25T11:16:00.001-05:002013-01-25T11:16:39.685-05:00Larry Murphy or...Drew Carey?Ever since the season started and I saw Larry Murphy wearing those goggle glasses that had me screaming, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" at my television, I've had something on my mind. And it didn't hit me until a few days ago.<br />
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Larry Murphy looks like Drew Carey.<br />
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Please...just look.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzor3c9EKqkN3tUdyXgTxzDkq54TgEi8ARKSFu6ZJKyC0-fmmWKl4d9Ymxt72kG0K1rQEBLS0fBJKNqlzBtjnNTCAC99Cjk3MdG2pFysB2dpg55_ZXq4BbwG_Znk3Mke4nwOj6pih-z6M/s1600/drew+carey+vs+larry+murphy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzor3c9EKqkN3tUdyXgTxzDkq54TgEi8ARKSFu6ZJKyC0-fmmWKl4d9Ymxt72kG0K1rQEBLS0fBJKNqlzBtjnNTCAC99Cjk3MdG2pFysB2dpg55_ZXq4BbwG_Znk3Mke4nwOj6pih-z6M/s320/drew+carey+vs+larry+murphy.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Frightening, yes? Can we get back to the Murph we all know and love, who raves about $1 hot dogs and beer? This one just doesn't feel right.Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-60975529801898817892013-01-10T14:44:00.001-05:002013-01-10T14:44:28.417-05:00Zetterberg's Flight to DetroitIf you haven't caught up on your hockey news today, Helene St. James caught up with Henrik Zetterberg today and did the usual interviewing questions. The <a href="http://www.freep.com/article/20130110/SPORTS05/130110047/detroit-red-wings-henrik-zetterberg?odyssey=nav|head" target="_blank">article</a> ends with:<br />
<br />
<i>"Speaking of Switzerland, did Zetterberg bring back Toblerone chocolates for his teammates? Yes ... and no.
</i><br />
<i>"I ate them all," he said."</i><br />
<br />
How can I <i>not</i> draw a silly comic? Don't mind the fact that it's on a legal pad. (click to make bigger)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV5uKivx-tX6Phwpd14yfTNycJxejuZ3jnDYRM4AZHhi1u7YgXOu2Hu25joL8mL-r5Pl6vzX9REv2ATHLUjiGpywBOwq3Cbi5TDv0Dsjt_U-_GGNJBd6ORxKMNseH7_7oR51PKtbHB88I/s1600/BARNwpOCIAAKw-r.jpg+large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV5uKivx-tX6Phwpd14yfTNycJxejuZ3jnDYRM4AZHhi1u7YgXOu2Hu25joL8mL-r5Pl6vzX9REv2ATHLUjiGpywBOwq3Cbi5TDv0Dsjt_U-_GGNJBd6ORxKMNseH7_7oR51PKtbHB88I/s200/BARNwpOCIAAKw-r.jpg+large.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
And, as <a href="https://twitter.com/Whoabot" target="_blank">@Whoabot</a> added on Twitter: "Dammit Hank, where's my Swiss chocolate candy?!"<br />
"Get your Tobler-own!! (laughter ensues) ...seriously, it's mine, go away."<br />
<br />
It's not unlike <a href="http://franzenmuth.blogspot.com/2011/01/larry-murphy-at-home.html" target="_blank">Larry Murphy at home, surrounded by hot dogs... </a>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-69203455135039089872012-10-09T16:54:00.000-04:002012-10-09T16:54:29.869-04:00Budd Lynch SoundbitesToday has been a terrible day for hockey, especially if you're a Red Wings fan.<br />
<br />
We were threatened with the Winter Classic being canceled all too soon. Then, we hear that Dominik Hasek has officially retired (which may be a relief to many fans who hated him and all the heart attacks he gave us during games). And to top it all off, one of the most iconic voices in Detroit, Budd Lynch, passed away this morning at the young age of 95.<br />
<br />
Of course, Red Wings fans are devastated. I know I shed a few tears when I found out. And rather than reminiscing and discussing what a terrible loss this is for everyone, why not remember him by listening to his voice?<br />
<br />
I have two soundbites for your downloading/listening pleasure (they are .m4a files since they are from my phone, FYI).<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.sendspace.com/file/jzij12" target="_blank"><b>"Last minute of play in this period."</b></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.sendspace.com/file/uzsyec" target="_blank"><b>"Thank you, and...goodnight."</b></a> (Feel free to agree and/or ignore my brother's comment after)<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(*** If more are necessary, I have two videos I can add as well, one announcing the starting lineup, another announcing the three stars of the game.)</span><br />
<br />
Rest peacefully, Budd Lynch. We know you're announcing games wherever you are.Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-23619825596938741402012-10-05T15:51:00.003-04:002012-10-05T15:51:37.622-04:00Transposed Hockey ThoughtsI don't quite know where this is going to go. But let's just start writing and see where it takes us.<br />
<br />
I'm not the only hockey fan pissed off beyond belief at what's going on right now. I'm not the only one who has threatened to leave the sport altogether, not buy any merchandise, not go to any games, because owners' greed has prevented yet <i>another</i> season. I'm not the only hockey fan that's known my threats are a bluff.<br />
<br />
And I know I cannot be the only one who, upon the first two weeks of the season being canceled, said, "F#$k it, my threat is <i>real</i>. I will <i>not</i> support them."<br />
<br />
Because I will not support a league that bullies its players by canceling their games and their seasons, and throws their fans out with the rest of the garbage and does not take into consideration the fact that this time around, with information more privy in this social media-centric age, fans are not as gullible as last time. They are taking away a large part of my life, something that feels like it's my only livelihood at times, and this is the third time in twenty years. I'm fed up.<br />
<br />
Or am I? Is my assertion that my bluff isn't actually a bluff <a href="http://angryrunner.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/donnydont.jpg" target="_blank">really just another bluff</a>*? If they reached a deal tomorrow or even in December, and some of the season was salvaged, would I really stand by my word and not go to games, not buy merchandise?<br />
<br />
---<br />
<br />
Out to lunch with my coworkers today, I happened to glance over at the bar and froze when I saw Jimmy Howard. Seeing hockey players both out of uniform and in person always takes me by surprise...mostly because I never have encounters with anyone famous. They simply live on my television or computer screen.<br />
<br />
Howard was there, taking it easy, having just finished the morning practice at the Troy Sports Center down the street. And Abdelkader sat down next to him.<br />
<br />
And I had a slight spaz attack, which should embarrass me more than it did. After all, my coworkers have only known me for five months and do not know how serious my love for all things hockey and Red Wings is. <br />
<br />
I'm not one of those fans that will bother players and ask for pictures or autographs if I see them out and about. They have their own lives and I certainly do not plan on being rude and interrupting whatever they're doing. Had they not left so quickly after I noticed them, I would have at least passed by, smiled, and told them, "I wish you guys were playing hockey."<br />
<br />
As I watched them leave and meet up with two guys standing out front (which turned out to be Johan Franzen and Niklas Kronwall, whom had been sitting six feet away from me and probably heard every word I said to my coworkers about Abdelkader and Howard), I realized just how much I miss the sport.<br />
<br />
I love it too much. I cannot live without the sport, without my Hockey Night In Canada, without my Detroit Red Wings. Just catching a glimpse of Red Wings players made my heart ache - and they weren't even playing hockey!<br />
<br />
And when the four men left my sight and went on their way, I realized that no, <b>my empty threats are not empty.</b><br />
<br />
This team, this sport means far too much to me. I won't go so far as to say that I won't watch games on television. But I refuse to buy new merchandise, I refuse to buy tickets to games. Perhaps I should support what I love...<br />
<br />
I've put up with enough work stoppages in this league to forgive them so readily this time around.<br />
<br />
But here's hoping something happens soon. Or the NHL may have a lot more fans like me not supporting them and may not be able to recover from a canceled season as well as they did last time.<br />
<br />
---<br />
*If you're not a <i>Simpsons</i> fan, the book pictured is <i>Don't Do What Donny Dont Does</i>, which is just as clear as my sentence.Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-71560996411648147592012-10-02T12:30:00.001-04:002012-10-02T12:30:40.537-04:00Lockout Comics!We need some form of entertainment during what will probably turn into a lengthy lockout. And since my "let's make up what would happen during the season" idea did not catch fire (and would be a hell of a lot of work), I came up with another idea.<br />
<br />
Firstly, I need to get back into drawing Red Wings comics. Secondly, I have a way to do that. Thirdly, it will be entertaining for you guys!<br />
<br />
A few weeks ago, the ever lovely Ally (@TuzzisChinStrap on Twitter) made a comment about line combinations for this season involving Zetterberg and Datsyuk making smores and having sleepovers. So then I drew this doodle while at work (click to make it large):<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpMH83K9Cutz_BoybMjPnO0bWAI5nyQGRll8924Ie-j31zIrMI8AI0dvLnTNbP3DLkd6rJuHQz5RNdWYY-QtWnsUnIr0VR8a5c7uQMJVt0H5k5PO2zPYxn8NNBqfBGFVlSggNxaymb6po/s1600/657981405.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpMH83K9Cutz_BoybMjPnO0bWAI5nyQGRll8924Ie-j31zIrMI8AI0dvLnTNbP3DLkd6rJuHQz5RNdWYY-QtWnsUnIr0VR8a5c7uQMJVt0H5k5PO2zPYxn8NNBqfBGFVlSggNxaymb6po/s200/657981405.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
Naturally, I feel the need to expand on the hilarity (and stupidity) that would follow. Especially since wherever there's a campfire, there's a Murph with hotdogs lurking in the shadows.<br />
<br />
Come witness the hilarity of what happens when Datsyuk decides to have a bonfire in his backyard and simply sends out a mass text to his teammates and Red Wings alum. Come see Mickey Redmond confused by the lockout and making color commentary on the bonfire (Example: "Zetterberg finishes assembling his s'more and that's just a tic-tac-toe play.").<br />
<br />
This is an easy way to add a little hilarity into our drab lockout.<br />
<br />
The comic will be uploaded here (in a better quality than on a legal pad) and will be updated on would-be game days.<br />
<br />
Stay tuned! The first one is up Friday October 12, because we all know we're just days away from the first two weeks of the season being canceled.Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-44119272492523148192012-09-17T12:17:00.000-04:002012-09-17T12:17:22.951-04:00An Opportunity<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTDVyLAFfw-x5Lj3Yml_P-ezUkCfpbNLco67CoCV_ZkFb7d2J9kPb4x63KJVHUibvZjdqheJzJZhYIFxmCKzaSv3gfJUYznt_RDofda1YrtOeurl7GnExaDzMnEl3gMXMhl8Zu2rCC3hg/s400/Pavel+Datsyuk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTDVyLAFfw-x5Lj3Yml_P-ezUkCfpbNLco67CoCV_ZkFb7d2J9kPb4x63KJVHUibvZjdqheJzJZhYIFxmCKzaSv3gfJUYznt_RDofda1YrtOeurl7GnExaDzMnEl3gMXMhl8Zu2rCC3hg/s200/Pavel+Datsyuk.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’re all in the same boat right now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’re all going through withdrawals of a lack of hockey due
to the lockout. And even if there wasn’t a lockout, there wouldn’t be games yet
anyway. But it’s the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">anticipation</i> of
countless months without our life, our breath, our faux-religion, our sport
that is the very essence of our life sometimes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And we’re all pissed off beyond belief. For the second time
in the past eight years (and third time in Gary Bettman’s reign), we have to
endure a work stoppage due to… who the hell even knows or cares at this point. We
are fed up, and we want to be treated like we matter in this decision because,
after all, we’re the ones who help bolster revenue, fan attendance, all the
stuff they seem to argue over, and yet they never seem to count us in.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We bluff like we won’t come back. We lie and say, “We won’t watch
games when this is all said and done, we’re done being jerked around!” But we
cannot survive without our sport. They are making us suffer, and it isn’t fair.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We really shouldn’t have to suffer. We should be allowed to
live in our fictional (or delusional) world where CBA negotiations ended back
on July 1<sup>st</sup> with both sides coming to terms on a new eight year CBA
with very little strife between the two sides. We should be allowed to live in
our fictional world where the 2012-13 season starts uninterrupted at the
beginning of October. So let’s live in that fictional/delusional world!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s what I’m proposing:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Detroit Red Wings’
Mock 2012 Season</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had this idea last week when I lost all hope during
negotiations. I want to mock up the results of games and write reviews of what
would have happened, any significant injuries, awesome goals, outstanding
players, lousy players, any miraculous returns of retired Swedish defensemen…stuff
like that. Just so that we can pretend, at least for a few minute a day, that
our team is still around and not spread all over Europe on teams that don’t
have winged wheels on their jerseys.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t be the only person to have thought of this option,
but let me explain it a little bit first.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What It Is:</b> Writing
and posting articles the morning/day after a game would have taken place,
giving the brief facts (date, game played, final score, goalie stats, who
scored goals) and then launching into a recap of what happened – not necessarily
a play-by-play account, but a thorough explanation of goals, saves, fights,
penalties…anything you would want to know.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What It Is NOT:</b>
An excuse to have the Red Wings go 82-0 like <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbYCZdHNWgo" target="_blank">that Verizon commercial with theFlyers’ perfect season</a> where they lose in the first round of the playoffs.
As much as we would love to see our team go undefeated in the regular season,
that’s a little too farfetched.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want this to be realistic. I want people to be upset if I
have the Red Wings lose 6-2 against the Islanders or the Oilers and drop to
third in our division, like they would be upset had it actually happened. I don’t
want this to be a joy ride just to get our kicks. I want it to be as similar as
possible to an actual 82- game season.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want to experience <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">a
hockey season</b>. And I know you do, too. All the wins, the losses, the
heartaches, heart attacks, and the sheer willpower and nerves that goes into it
all. I want hearts to break when injuries are announced just as the player was
getting on a hot streak.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">THE CATCH:</b> I could
do this by myself. I could make it extremely in depth and thorough, but I think
my real life job would end up firing me for not doing my work. I could accomplish this on my own, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">but why would I
want to do something like that?</i> Why not give other diehard fans a chance to
give their input on the outcome of games, or become a blogger for a game or
two? Why leave all the creative fun to myself?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do not know how much interest there will be in this;
whether the number will be just a handful or whether it will be a staggering
amount. I can’t be the first hockey blogger to think of this option.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Depending on how people react will depend on how I go about
planning this. If there is a lot of interest and participants, I’ll set up a
completely different blog and we’ll coordinate everything. If not, it will
remain here at Franzenmuth (or perhaps over at the Red Wings section of The
Checking Line. TBD).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><u><b>If you have any interest at all</b></u></i> – whether it be a guest
writer for a game or twelve or just to give input on some of the matchups –
please either leave a comment here or tweet/DM me on Twitter. I will contact
you when I have a good grasp on how this is going to play out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the words of Red Green, "I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together." </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/franzenmuth" target="_blank">@franzenmuth</a></div>
Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-85020373150675519652012-08-09T14:27:00.003-04:002012-08-09T14:27:31.176-04:00How Will You Survive?Gary Bettman came out (of hiding) today to announce that if a deal is not struck between the two sides by September 15, there will be a lockout. No ifs, ands, or buts.<br />
<br />
Naturally, panic is rising within all of us. I can feel my throat closing in anger and rage and my eyes starting to burn with tears - all at the mere thought of surviving another year without hockey. We've done it once before, and that was enough.<br />
<br />
So how do we survive? There are options out there. And I could sit here and tell you what I personally plan to do, but that may not work for you.<br />
<br />
So you tell me your ideas for surviving a lockout. They can be silly, serious, ridiculous, and anything in between.<br />
<br />
Take up watching basketball? Sit in protest outside your team's arena and wait for tickets to go on sale? Start playing hockey in a recreation league? Make your basement into a bomb shelter and hide from the world for 365 days until hockey (hopefully) returns and act like nothing happened?<br />
<br />
Tell me! Leave a comment on this article, or tweet me on Twitter (@franzenmuth). Because, in the words of Red Green, "I'm pulling for you - we're all in this together."Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-33460757906939989322012-06-14T12:38:00.002-04:002012-06-14T12:38:25.746-04:00How to Solve the Lidstrom Problem?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZmMSzdWZfoIbnUG0Jtpj6pCzM4ds75ML0gBqJrquaG94ClkSZTfJxG0MzGo3MmFQkb_TglEVF3RbonL5-wdaMLVMoz8fCR4jmw8brc-iPIhSMI5TEXirJDHDhFhdcG6MqjQR7kJSrr4M/s1600/Nick+Lidstrom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZmMSzdWZfoIbnUG0Jtpj6pCzM4ds75ML0gBqJrquaG94ClkSZTfJxG0MzGo3MmFQkb_TglEVF3RbonL5-wdaMLVMoz8fCR4jmw8brc-iPIhSMI5TEXirJDHDhFhdcG6MqjQR7kJSrr4M/s320/Nick+Lidstrom.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
If I had an actual answer to that headline, I wouldn't be sitting here right now writing this article; I'd be stalking down Ken Holland and telling him how to relieve all of our worries.<br />
<br />
The fact that the Red Wings have lost two of their top defensemen already this off-season is weighing heavily on the minds of fans. We are all relying on the fact that for the first time in three off-seasons, this team has more money to play around with than ever.<br />
<br />
But there are some shoes to fill.<br />
<br />
Holland has to work his magic. There's the insane possibility that someone he'll be able to snag both Suter <i>and</i> Weber, but it's not very plausible. This team needs at least one of those two defensemen, and I do not believe Weber is going anywhere. When push comes to shove with that team, they would probably rather keep their captain over Suter.<br />
<br />
And Red Wings fans haven't forgotten what Weber pulled in Game One.<br />
<br />
A backup solution is needed for the worst-case scenario of getting neither Suter nor Weber.<br />
<br />
My insane fear is that the backup idea is Mike Green, a player whom I am not very fond of. Yes, he actually played solid defense these playoffs, but he's more of a forward than a defenseman, and the Red Wings need a defensive-minded person on the blue line. Green is a RFA anyway, although I could see the prospect we received from San Jose for Brad Stuart being some kind of leverage if/when it comes down to it.<br />
<br />
If that <i>is</i> the case, why not push for John Carlson? While he's like Green in the fact that he's a little more offensive than the average defenseman, he has been the Capitals' shut-down man this past season. And he's young. Best case scenario for the Red Wings is finding an up-and-coming young player who has already proved himself and wants to stick around for a good amount of time. There are our own prospects, yes, but until they are completely ready for NHL-level games, the Red Wings need someone else.<br />
<br />
The Capitals also have Dennis Wideman. He's a UFA, 29 years old, and his cap hit is just under $4 million. This past season, Wideman had 46 points in 82 games. He's not as young as Carlson, but he doesn't come at as much of a risk as the RFA. Plus, Carlson has proved with his output and play that he can demand a higher salary than the $850,000 or so he has made the past few seasons.<br />
<br />
My backup solutions really only seem to be coming from the Washington Capitals.<br />
<br />
Regardless, this is going to be a rather expensive off-season, especially with the limited market. Of course, unless Holland works his "Take a discount to come be on a Cup-contending team" magic. But will that still work with no Lidstrom (and even no Stuart) on the roster list? Even with our big guns like Datsyuk and Zetterberg, and defensemen like White and Kronwall, does our team still look the same in opponents' eyes?<br /><br />
The wait for July 1 is always a tough one. And with so many question marks on Red Wings fans' minds, seventeen days seems like an eternity.Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-2195885395748324522012-06-12T15:14:00.000-04:002012-06-12T15:14:06.433-04:00Back in the Saddle!After several different writing gigs at various NHL blogging websites, I will be making a return to Franzenmuth!<br />
<br />
It's been quite a while since I've updated on a consistent basis here, let alone work on any sort of hilarious hockey comics. And with so much changing this off-season, there's going to be a lot that needs to be covered.<br />
<br />
So keep your eyes peeled! If you need something to tide you over until an actual Franzenmuth update, feel free to read any of my previous articles over at RLD Hockey (some of them are not so timely anymore):<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.rldhockey.net/2012/04/will-detroit-find-their-playoff-groove.html" target="_blank">Will Detroit Find Their Playoff Groove?</a><br />
<a href="http://www.rldhockey.net/2012/04/could-nicklas-lidstrom-be-done-with.html" target="_blank">Could Nicklas Lidstrom Be Done With Hockey?</a><br />
<a href="http://www.rldhockey.net/2012/05/what-do-red-wings-need-to-fix.html" target="_blank">What Do The Red Wings Need To Fix?</a><br />
<a href="http://www.rldhockey.net/2012/05/wings-could-use-defense-help.html" target="_blank">Wings Could Use Defensive Help</a><br />
<a href="http://www.rldhockey.net/2012/05/on-possibility-of-new-red-wings-arena.html" target="_blank">On The Possibility Of A New Red Wings Arena</a><br />
<a href="http://www.rldhockey.net/2012/06/what-lidstroms-leaving-behind.html" target="_blank">What Lidstrom's Leaving Behind</a><br />
<a href="http://www.rldhockey.net/2012/06/wings-have-need-at-forward.html" target="_blank">Wings Have A Need At Forward Position</a>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-70939108770012246162012-03-21T09:30:00.006-04:002012-03-21T11:34:15.362-04:00Everybody Panic...?!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV2wjlLvXbuG1_zhvdEmXzfKP5afeX88-evqGmp_A1auokr211Q5COAnkO9f8ww-Nwro2eEws2P7NIiE_F6YVUEtmnGjlQOrcgRoLZFOG3kcEi_Wiysr3yfQtMIiM5cFw5Gu5D3Sa5XzY/s1600/the+fuck.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 187px; height: 276px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV2wjlLvXbuG1_zhvdEmXzfKP5afeX88-evqGmp_A1auokr211Q5COAnkO9f8ww-Nwro2eEws2P7NIiE_F6YVUEtmnGjlQOrcgRoLZFOG3kcEi_Wiysr3yfQtMIiM5cFw5Gu5D3Sa5XzY/s320/the+fuck.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5722343269655109810" border="0" /></a>It may be time to start a full-fledged panic.<br /><br />I'm that fan that tries to keep my panicking concentrated on playoff time and nothing else, but I can't deny that there are some extremely concerning issues right now.<br /><br />And it's like <a href="http://theproductionline.us/caps-loss-candy-newt-and-jackie/">The Production Line</a> said yesterday, if we're freaking out over <span style="font-style: italic;">Ty Conklin</span> clearing re-entry waivers and how much that might screw us over if he doesn't, we know we're boned.<br /><br />Let's just list them out here for some sort of order:<br /><br />-Injuries<br />-Playoffs<br />-Home Ice Advantage<br />-Lidstrom<br />(-Coaches?)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Injuries</span><br />Well, how many more people can we lose? Remember that stint in '09 when we had fifteen-thousand injuries and our whole team was the Grand Rapids Griffins? Oh wait, that's right now.<br /><br />But seriously, Lidstrom's out (more on that later), Howard's out (again), Helm's newly out for <span style="font-style: italic;">at least</span> six weeks (I wouldn't hold my breath for the four they're estimating), Ericsson's out, Kindl's out, MacDonald's out, The Mule's out, and who knows when Eaves will return.<br /><br />Our goalies right now are Jordan Pearce and Ty Conklin. My response to this is the picture up top. The injuries are concerning, and it used to be a lot more people on the sidelines, but thank goodness Bertuzzi and Datsyuk have cracked the lineup again. Even if they aren't back to playing 100%, Datsyuk's got those moves going and holy shit, if Nyquist can get some NHL games under his belt and look less like an AHLer, I cannot <span style="font-style: italic;">wait</span> for him and Datsyuk to be on the same line. They had some flow going in the Caps game.<br /><br />But that's only a glimmer of hope that's still far off. And now there's something even more concerning than the injuries...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Playoffs</span><br />The people sitting behind me at the Red Wings/Capitals game on Monday night - aside from being ridiculously obnoxious and annoying as hell - loudly voiced their concern about the possibility of missing the playoffs. And how we are absolutely going to miss them.<br /><br />Hold the phone, idiots. One thing you need to remember is that despite the way the team has played in the last ten games, this is a team that will legitimately <span style="font-style: italic;">murder</span> other teams if they don't make the playoffs. It's been twenty years since that last happened. I doubt they're going to just give up and roll over now.<br /><br />But you would think that the possibility of missing the playoffs would ignite something in them. You would think the veterans on this team that have won Stanley Cups, or have gotten damn close, or have put up with San Jose in the second round of the playoffs the past two years would want to be playing their hearts out to get a shot at that Cup again. And that's not what we're seeing.<br /><br />And then there's that magic, non-existent switch that somehow the Red Wings have found in the past. You know, where they play really crappy up until playoffs and then all of a sudden, they're an unstoppable machine. Will they activate it in these last handful of games to make everyone else shake in their boots or will they come in as the "underdog?" Will they flip on that switch to keep home-ice advantage for the playoffs?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Home Ice Advantage</span><br />Ahh, yes. The one thing we haven't had the past few postseasons and something we should desperately <span style="font-style: italic;">want</span> with our stellar home record this season. That right there should be incentive enough to play better. Twenty-three straight home wins.<br /><br />Which kind of leads me into the next topic...<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDB6bnE4Qhb38sFFW-vMYfHGxXtJtMmFjjEFRZLKGWIC3a9YlGkzHdeDE9ZR_8dCNv51iiG9xMwt4h4Qv8KAgZJ-wrKdFIeMmSIKD-1hQJWJTcEdEhO0eKDQl86cizDStZ34CdPLL1bts/s1600/babcock_051509.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 281px; height: 158px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDB6bnE4Qhb38sFFW-vMYfHGxXtJtMmFjjEFRZLKGWIC3a9YlGkzHdeDE9ZR_8dCNv51iiG9xMwt4h4Qv8KAgZJ-wrKdFIeMmSIKD-1hQJWJTcEdEhO0eKDQl86cizDStZ34CdPLL1bts/s320/babcock_051509.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5722369411408259250" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Coaches</span><br />Specifically assistant coaches, since we can assume Mike Babcock's job is relatively safe since he's proved himself in the past.<br /><br />The idiots behind me at the game brought up a point I've seen on Twitter from a few people: Are these assistant coaches working?<br /><br />This is a point that I both do and do not understand (mostly do not). I can see it because, naturally, there's that worry that the coaches aren't reaching the players, especially in a struggling stretch like this.<br /><br />But what about the first sixty games about the season? What about the <span style="font-style: italic;">record-breaking</span> twenty-three straight wins at home? What about what they were doing during that stretch? How much really has changed behind the scenes? I don't think coaching is the problem, but then again your guess is as good as mine.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lidstrom</span><br />This is a topic I really hate even thinking about. Like I've seen on Twitter, this losing stretch with Nicklas Lidstrom being out...it makes it seem as though Lidstrom is our whole team.<br /><br />And it's terrifying to think that this could be what our team looks like whenever he retires.<br /><br />How bad is his injury? Reports are saying it's nothing more than a bad bone bruise, which at Lidstrom's nearly forty two years of age is a little more serious than if he was in his early thirties. When will he return? When can we see that Lidstrom magnetism at the point on power plays? Because our power play is terribly nonexistent with him out.<br /><br />We need Lidstrom back. Not just for this season and the playoffs, but for next season, too. If it can be managed. But that's another post entirely.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">In Conclusion</span><br /><br />If we don't show up in tonight's game against the New York Rangers, I really don't know. But I think playing against a team we could potentially come across in the Stanley Cup Finals, we'll want to show them what we're capable of.<br /><br />I'm not sure if this post is to get us all down or to give us a little glimmer of hope. I suppose that's for you to take out of it, because even I don't know how to feel right now. Excited for playoffs? Concerned? Panic-attack-ridden?<br /><br />I will say this: We're not dead and done quite yet. Don't underestimate the Red Wings, because they usually end up surprising everyone.Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-9147972117143358892012-01-09T15:20:00.004-05:002012-01-09T15:56:52.183-05:00Realignment: The Bigger Problem<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkZvOYL854CemDaYxOPw1arKIVc6RL6rG4n68iagL08oolNus3Ppvc7cf6pQWXqYgVo1Zh4EpfvBkUwQMtfXSQfSrImdW-UJ9MtLTOatWW5O4uHTD_eSW9oGngXpLlj5aPpXGcng11ux8/s1600/NHL_logo.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 233px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkZvOYL854CemDaYxOPw1arKIVc6RL6rG4n68iagL08oolNus3Ppvc7cf6pQWXqYgVo1Zh4EpfvBkUwQMtfXSQfSrImdW-UJ9MtLTOatWW5O4uHTD_eSW9oGngXpLlj5aPpXGcng11ux8/s1600/NHL_logo.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>It's probably fair to say that the majority of hockey fans were disappointed last Friday when the NHLPA threw out the realignment plans for next season.<br /><br />While that definitely <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> disappointing, there's a bigger problem underlying all of this, and I'm sure it's already hit many hockey fans.<br /><br />If you watch the CBC Hotstove on <span style="font-style: italic;">Hockey Night in Canada</span>, their whole discussion this past Saturday was on realignment. Elliotte Friedman said it was refused 28-2, the two teams for it being Columbus and Detroit - the two teams that <span style="font-style: italic;">want</span> and kind of really need a move.<br /><br />And while this refusal is a setback, it really says so much more than that...<br /><br />The Collective Bargaining Agreement expires this coming September. Eight months from now.<br /><br />...I'll wait for you to stop spiraling from remembering what happened last time this took place.<br /><br />I know, I know. We all thought this would come several more years down the road, even with the date set in stone. We thought things wouldn't be so up in the air, and it wouldn't be as hard as last time. Many of us spazzed when Donald Fehr was appointed, too; after all, baseball fans have a few choice words for him.<br /><br />This realignment refusal business leaves a foreboding taste in my mouth. It feels like this is their way of showing that they're already playing hardball with the NHL. They shouldn't be taken lightly.<br /><br />Then again, this could all be a total overreaction.<br /><br />On the more positive front, their reasons for saying no to the realignment are fairly valid, and I can't fault them on it because you do have to look at it from every team's point of view, not just the Red Wings'.<br /><br />The main problem Friedman said was the playoff format with two seven team and two eight team divisions, ultimately giving a better chance to some teams and not others. Likewise, travel was still an expense issue for nearly every team.<br /><br />Don't think so? Think about how more often teams would have to cross the border into Canada, playing each team home and home every season. Sure, it works out better for teams like Detroit and Columbus having to only make one big western road trip rather than two or three, but what about the other twenty eight teams?<br /><br />Okay, maybe you can't complain <span style="font-style: italic;">too</span> much about it to those fans of the easternmost western conference teams, but it's still a big deal for the rest of the league. The NHLPA feels as though their concerns were not answered and this plan was kind of thrown together almost half-assed...at least the playoff format of it.<br /><br />So what can be done. What will satisfy the NHLPA, NHL, and fans? Will there be an easy solution, or is it going to take months of pounding out every single little detail?<br /><br />If I had the answer, we'd all be breathing a little easier. Because this realignment problem could just be the beginning of a long, long, <span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">long</span></span> offseason.<br /><br />And that's the last thing anyone wants.Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-68918052706331570102012-01-03T13:41:00.002-05:002012-01-03T13:50:43.276-05:00Franzenmuth Lives!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzoBUpTXUORuwEXm2HiNHJ3uY81-Jd053qeI7Snd3uPQMixsTaPSTQJAtFsRgW4sS427V0EcIC0PPurlw_nd197uAKkz9kllQKxXS5V444k2RSkqSNj0c7_mj6kLbpPfC3bsJFkNIh6po/s1600/kronner+eaten+by+a+trex.png"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 302px; height: 202px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzoBUpTXUORuwEXm2HiNHJ3uY81-Jd053qeI7Snd3uPQMixsTaPSTQJAtFsRgW4sS427V0EcIC0PPurlw_nd197uAKkz9kllQKxXS5V444k2RSkqSNj0c7_mj6kLbpPfC3bsJFkNIh6po/s320/kronner+eaten+by+a+trex.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693478130270668882" border="0" /></a>I'm sure you may be wondering what the hell happened to me, and your expression is much like Ericsson's in that picture over there.<br /><br />Well, I was the Red Wings correspondent over at NHLHotStove.com for a year and a half, which is why things tapered off over here. But that place is closing down now; all of the head dudes are off to bigger and better things.<br /><br />Me? Well, I'm still here, not as often as before, but I'm still alive. I'm sure I'll find a spot as a Red Wings writer on another site, but until then, I'll be back here, posting my random ramblings.<br /><br />And in case you haven't already figured it out, this is the <a href="http://nhlhotstove.com/the-red-wings-finn-is-on-fire/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">year of Valtteri Filppula</span></a>, the guy I've been screaming at to shoot the puck for the past twenty-seven years (or four years, depending).<br /><br />More epic things shall be coming in the future! Until then, stay put and keep your sticks on the ice.Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-51288362770938060782011-04-18T10:25:00.007-04:002011-04-18T10:47:59.221-04:00Epic Comic ThingsApril 15 marked the one-year anniversary I started blogging here at Franzenmuth - the night of Game One when that high stick on Lidstrom wasn't called). While I don't blog here as often as I used to (or as consistently), I'm still writing for the Red Wings over at NHLHotStove.com (and loving it) and tweeting like crazy. I still think it's absolutely nuts that I started my twitter a year ago without really caring and now I'm addicted...and have 350 followers. You guys are the best, seriously.<br /><br />So to celebrate the one-year anniversary of Franzenmuth, I'm giving you two things, both of which are pretty epic (the second one more than the first).<br /><br />Franzenmuth is expanding!! I don't mean this site - I mean the fictional land in Sweden with mule-drawn carriages (and you guys probably don't know how much of Franzenmuth I have planned/mapped out). Here's how...<br /><br />My boyfriend was coming up with nicknames for hockey players that would annoy me (he's a pest like that), and somehow he came up with the nickname "Helmalot" for Helm. I told this to Twitter, and someone said it sounded like a medieval land.<br /><br />Lo and behold, I had to sketch it during one of my classes.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQChRnJdW3hdJORsEaZnj7cjj9fV7H9F1STxGqFPzVZXDeT-hoCbSnQjDWg65FADSJA16cxMn4coOyAcUxC-V2riWpqB1TP-BIy5FBdx3noefDnL47lLYphhGy0N4n0K8KaSSPm2gEwGw/s1600/Helmalot.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 131px; height: 83px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQChRnJdW3hdJORsEaZnj7cjj9fV7H9F1STxGqFPzVZXDeT-hoCbSnQjDWg65FADSJA16cxMn4coOyAcUxC-V2riWpqB1TP-BIy5FBdx3noefDnL47lLYphhGy0N4n0K8KaSSPm2gEwGw/s320/Helmalot.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5596931965581313650" border="0" /></a>Now, this second thing has been going on for quite some time. And this is a video I made back in December and never posted (you can tell by the Christmas tree behind me, hah). But I think I need to show you guys just because of how amazing it is and I don't know how I've kept it a secret for this long. It could be bigger than "Pavel Datsyuk in: A Case of Dangleitis."<br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyfP1U11I0RnZ7qiDemb_48y2GleplXBPRMF8rXkvmQjwJ98tDOodbyw4vbFs4Jx5N3xrFSeB4U0NVeqU4o_w' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />I promise to continue working on it with all my might. It's going to be awesome. (More of it's done than you think, too!)Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-81814438295197854182011-04-03T22:22:00.002-04:002011-04-03T22:25:27.300-04:00Babcock's Facial ExpressionsIn case you missed my tweet on Twitter, I drew a quick little chart of Mike Babcock's facial expressions. I think it's pretty accurate.<br /><br /><a href="http://img705.imageshack.us/img705/6335/babsfaces.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 439px; height: 547px;" src="http://img705.imageshack.us/img705/6335/babsfaces.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-22407338285088773762011-03-25T19:33:00.007-04:002011-03-25T19:46:59.707-04:00Red Wings Doodles!Finally, I have a lazy Friday night where I can sit and draw Red Wings comics.<br /><br />This semester of classes has been ridiculous. Let me tell you, if you take two online classes at the same time, and one of them is a Public Relations class that has ten-thousand projects in one semester, drop your social life. Seriously.<br /><br />Anyway. I found myself ready and willing to draw comics on a Friday night where I had nothing else to do. Yeah, I spent a Friday night drawing comics - that's how cool I am (and when you have to get up at 5.30am for work the next morning, you don't really want to go out and do stuff).<br /><br />All of the comic ideas I had are too intricate. So I asked Twitter what quick doodles they wanted to see. Here's what they came up with.<br /><br />You guys know the drill - click on it to make them larger.<br /><br />Homer brought Hudler some food while he was sick...<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8ieyWwMC6ocUQsXAQKh5eJvrtpBclwyeRqkBdR0Ruc7B99WadcVkGGqQquIbw3bFsSo1QxaBv3nck84QjC0W26fTWPMbgdyc98yDDPEJtFJMT5r-WVuOGuRqisWItWm-lSBiIUie2vD0/s1600/Sick+Huddles.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 135px; height: 100px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8ieyWwMC6ocUQsXAQKh5eJvrtpBclwyeRqkBdR0Ruc7B99WadcVkGGqQquIbw3bFsSo1QxaBv3nck84QjC0W26fTWPMbgdyc98yDDPEJtFJMT5r-WVuOGuRqisWItWm-lSBiIUie2vD0/s320/Sick+Huddles.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588167182663243890" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Party Pavel is not made of Party.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM1bDnulzPYdiVrKZzoilz_UqcuTPK_LL3dKMKYDCy5atIokupDSeyO96xaz9bGxeJt2tQLjKbN-piHVmZhMTHUmdCezNfSxEW3mPhY0krKZDy3n09omRF9fm8cu22-yzFJQV7uLysaxM/s1600/Party+Pavel.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 135px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM1bDnulzPYdiVrKZzoilz_UqcuTPK_LL3dKMKYDCy5atIokupDSeyO96xaz9bGxeJt2tQLjKbN-piHVmZhMTHUmdCezNfSxEW3mPhY0krKZDy3n09omRF9fm8cu22-yzFJQV7uLysaxM/s320/Party+Pavel.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588167479364104354" border="0" /></a><br />And there was a video on Red Wings TV at the start of Lent asking players what they would never be able to give up. Kronwall said oatmeal and Zetterberg cut in with how he eats it like...six times a day.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnrPRsQ8DShyphenhyphen6yKVOAEXm8dDMejTnlJauV6lEW2E6GOp6w8_6edwVn4mHmUtZty1NzCNQoyZJDKrYiwPOCNGJP9h1v9T3ZwRswi-UF5-VJffprPINSBRcpNcflomd9RGHwYeT64FU2FB0/s1600/Oatmeal+Kronwall.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 126px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnrPRsQ8DShyphenhyphen6yKVOAEXm8dDMejTnlJauV6lEW2E6GOp6w8_6edwVn4mHmUtZty1NzCNQoyZJDKrYiwPOCNGJP9h1v9T3ZwRswi-UF5-VJffprPINSBRcpNcflomd9RGHwYeT64FU2FB0/s320/Oatmeal+Kronwall.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588167706553518786" border="0" /></a>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-81108659518183710982011-02-13T23:56:00.003-05:002011-02-14T00:01:23.648-05:00Red Wings Valentines!Last year, I was extremely disappointed with the lack of hockey Valentines cards put out by the NHL. Hell, I was just disappointed with the fact that the Red Wings didn't put any out. What better way to express your true feelings for random strangers who come into your coffee shop than to give them this:<br /><br /><a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/tixxana/pic/0004k734"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 479px; height: 338px;" src="http://pics.livejournal.com/tixxana/pic/0004k734" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />That's right. I made Red Wings Valentines. Now, I've been super swamped with school this semester, so I didn't get a chance to update any of them. AKA - All of these were made last year. So you'll spot Lilja. And Hossa [even though he wasn't even on the team last year].<br /><br />So if you can't find that perfect winged wheel-themed Valentine for that special someone in your life, head on over to DRW_Comic at Livejournal and check 'em out.<br /><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/drw_comic/10156.html"><br />VALENTINES ARE THIS WAY.</a>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-33723093088851074962011-01-12T19:02:00.004-05:002011-01-12T19:05:24.068-05:00Math Class With Dr. KronwallIn honor of Niklas Kronwall's 30th birthday, I'm posting this comic I drew about Kronwall. I drew it in response to meeting him in person while he was wearing his glasses and how they made him look like a math teacher.<br /><br />Without further ado, here is "Math Class With Dr. Kronwall."<br /><a href="http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/4787/doctorkronwallforlj.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 184px; height: 242px;" src="http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/4787/doctorkronwallforlj.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-13643682880758620212011-01-05T10:05:00.005-05:002011-01-05T10:17:13.641-05:00Larry Murphy At HomeYou may have missed me posting this during the Winter Classic on Twitpic, so I can post it again.<br /><br />On Saturday night during the Winter Classic, the NBC commentators made some remark about hot dogs, and I tweeted something about why they didn't ask Larry Murphy for his opinion (because we all know how much he loves $1 hot dog night at The Joe). Someone replied to my tweet and said he was probably at home eating hot dogs.<br /><br />And this was the mental image that was produced from that comment.<br /><a href="http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/2580/larrymurphyathome.jpg"><img style="width: 509px; height: 383px;" src="http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/2580/larrymurphyathome.jpg" /></a><br />I still don't think there are enough hot dogs.Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-41624447068987633912011-01-04T16:33:00.003-05:002011-01-04T17:01:40.669-05:00Sportscenter CommercialIf you haven't seen the latest Sportscenter commercial featuring Ovechkin and Varlomov as Russian spies, please do so right now.<br /><embed flashvars="file=http%3A%2F%2Fvidmg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv437%2FTiixzka%2FAlexOvechkin_ThisIsSportscenter_2010Ad.mp4" src="http://static.photobucket.com/player.swf" wmode="transparent" allownetworking="all" allowfullscreen="true" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="361" width="600"></embed><br /><br />Now then, @jediemma told me her life would be complete if there was a part two to this commercial. What she wanted is exactly what is in this latest comic...<br /><br /><a href="http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/7809/sportscentercommercialp.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 158px; height: 114px;" src="http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/7809/sportscentercommercialp.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-7031516642519232042011-01-02T12:58:00.004-05:002011-01-02T13:04:43.147-05:00Helm's NicknamesIf you guys will recall the Festivus article written on the Red Wings' Airing of Grievances, Darren Helm made it known that he dislikes Ozzie for always having a different nickname for him every day.<br /><br />Well, it was excruciatingly slow at work this morning, so I grabbed some paper from the back and went to work at a comic, both to be productive and to keep myself awake. So there's no color to this, save for the highlighters I could scour in the back office.<br /><br /><a href="http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/1689/snicknames.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 223px; height: 145px;" src="http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/1689/snicknames.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I was having fun thinking of names this morning...credit to @JennHo for the "Fluffy" nickname.Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-87666761738402775922011-01-01T10:11:00.003-05:002011-01-01T10:18:20.625-05:00Pond HockeyThe Winter Classic is here! Well, it's been delayed by seven hours, but that's what rain will do.<br /><br />And to get you in the mood for televised pond hockey, I can link you guys to an article I wrote!<br /><br />You see, my neighbors set up an ice rink every single winter for as long as I can remember/as long as they've lived next door [maybe minus that first winter or two since their kids were tiny]. And since I now have a sort of legit writing job as a Red Wings article writer/blogger/whatever you'd like to call it, I have set my heart on writing an article about the ice rink.<br /><br />I love the ice rink. So much. It's a way to bond with family and friends and neighbors, and that's not even going into the whole better-appreciation-for-the-sport-and-its-players.<br /><br />So since the Winter Classic is delayed, I thought I would give you guys some pond hockey coverage to tide you over until the Capitals slaughter the Pens [hey, here's hoping]. And yes, there are pictures and there's even a video with a full-out hockey brawl.<br /><br />If you like it, I suggest that you RT it or link others to it or something. I want to spread the love of the sport/recreational activity, and let people who have never played pond hockey see just how amazing it is.<br /><br />Enjoy!<br /><br /><a href="http://nhlhotstove.com/pond-hockey-in-michigan/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pond Hockey In Michigan</span></a>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5753567049408698937.post-11057587056305331582010-12-23T10:27:00.004-05:002010-12-23T10:30:33.783-05:00Bert's Airing of GrievancesIn an article for the Free Press today, the Red Wings celebrate Seinfeld's fictional [but awesome] holiday of Festivus and partake in the "Airing of Grievances." It's hilarious and you can <a href="http://www.freep.com/article/20101223/SPORTS05/12230460/1053/Red-Wings-air-their-grievances-in-honor-of-Festivus">read it here</a>. I'm sure more comics will come of this.<br /><br />Anyway, they did this last year on Festivus, too, and I couldn't do anything then because I was awesome and in Disney World. This year, however, I bring you the full list of Todd Bertuzzi's Airing of Grievances.<br /><br /><a href="http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/360/sairingofgrievances.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 180px; height: 134px;" src="http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/360/sairingofgrievances.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Happy Festivus, everyone!Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00429178882032109532noreply@blogger.com0