Larry Murphy or...Drew Carey?

Ever since the season started and I saw Larry Murphy wearing those goggle glasses that had me screaming, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" at my television, I've had something on my mind. And it didn't hit me until a few days ago.

Larry Murphy looks like Drew Carey.

Please...just look.

Frightening, yes? Can we get back to the Murph we all know and love, who raves about $1 hot dogs and beer? This one just doesn't feel right.

Zetterberg's Flight to Detroit

If you haven't caught up on your hockey news today, Helene St. James caught up with Henrik Zetterberg today and did the usual interviewing questions. The article ends with:

"Speaking of Switzerland, did Zetterberg bring back Toblerone chocolates for his teammates? Yes ... and no.
"I ate them all," he said."

How can I not draw a silly comic? Don't mind the fact that it's on a legal pad. (click to make bigger)

And, as @Whoabot added on Twitter: "Dammit Hank, where's my Swiss chocolate candy?!"
"Get your Tobler-own!! (laughter ensues) ...seriously, it's mine, go away."

It's not unlike Larry Murphy at home, surrounded by hot dogs...

Budd Lynch Soundbites

Today has been a terrible day for hockey, especially if you're a Red Wings fan.

We were threatened with the Winter Classic being canceled all too soon. Then, we hear that Dominik Hasek has officially retired (which may be a relief to many fans who hated him and all the heart attacks he gave us during games). And to top it all off, one of the most iconic voices in Detroit, Budd Lynch, passed away this morning at the young age of 95.

Of course, Red Wings fans are devastated. I know I shed a few tears when I found out. And rather than reminiscing and discussing what a terrible loss this is for everyone, why not remember him by listening to his voice?

I have two soundbites for your downloading/listening pleasure (they are .m4a files since they are from my phone, FYI).

"Last minute of play in this period."

"Thank you, and...goodnight." (Feel free to agree and/or ignore my brother's comment after)

(*** If more are necessary, I have two videos I can add as well, one announcing the starting lineup, another announcing the three stars of the game.)

Rest peacefully, Budd Lynch. We know you're announcing games wherever you are.

Transposed Hockey Thoughts

I don't quite know where this is going to go. But let's just start writing and see where it takes us.

I'm not the only hockey fan pissed off beyond belief at what's going on right now. I'm not the only one who has threatened to leave the sport altogether, not buy any merchandise, not go to any games, because owners' greed has prevented yet another season. I'm not the only hockey fan that's known my threats are a bluff.

And I know I cannot be the only one who, upon the first two weeks of the season being canceled, said, "F#$k it, my threat is real. I will not support them."

Because I will not support a league that bullies its players by canceling their games and their seasons, and throws their fans out with the rest of the garbage and does not take into consideration the fact that this time around, with information more privy in this social media-centric age, fans are not as gullible as last time. They are taking away a large part of my life, something that feels like it's my only livelihood at times, and this is the third time in twenty years. I'm fed up.

Or am I? Is my assertion that my bluff isn't actually a bluff really just another bluff*? If they reached a deal tomorrow or even in December, and some of the season was salvaged, would I really stand by my word and not go to games, not buy merchandise?

---

Out to lunch with my coworkers today, I happened to glance over at the bar and froze when I saw Jimmy Howard. Seeing hockey players both out of uniform and in person always takes me by surprise...mostly because I never have encounters with anyone famous. They simply live on my television or computer screen.

Howard was there, taking it easy, having just finished the morning practice at the Troy Sports Center down the street. And Abdelkader sat down next to him.

And I had a slight spaz attack, which should embarrass me more than it did. After all, my coworkers have only known me for five months and do not know how serious my love for all things hockey and Red Wings is.

I'm not one of those fans that will bother players and ask for pictures or autographs if I see them out and about. They have their own lives and I certainly do not plan on being rude and interrupting whatever they're doing. Had they not left so quickly after I noticed them, I would have at least passed by, smiled, and told them, "I wish you guys were playing hockey."

As I watched them leave and meet up with two guys standing out front (which turned out to be Johan Franzen and Niklas Kronwall, whom had been sitting six feet away from me and probably heard every word I said to my coworkers about Abdelkader and Howard), I realized just how much I miss the sport.

I love it too much. I cannot live without the sport, without my Hockey Night In Canada, without my Detroit Red Wings. Just catching a glimpse of Red Wings players made my heart ache - and they weren't even playing hockey!

And when the four men left my sight and went on their way, I realized that no, my empty threats are not empty.

This team, this sport means far too much to me. I won't go so far as to say that I won't watch games on television. But I refuse to buy new merchandise, I refuse to buy tickets to games. Perhaps I should support what I love...

I've put up with enough work stoppages in this league to forgive them so readily this time around.

But here's hoping something happens soon. Or the NHL may have a lot more fans like me not supporting them and may not be able to recover from a canceled season as well as they did last time.

---
*If you're not a Simpsons fan, the book pictured is Don't Do What Donny Dont Does, which is just as clear as my sentence.

Lockout Comics!

We need some form of entertainment during what will probably turn into a lengthy lockout. And since my "let's make up what would happen during the season" idea did not catch fire (and would be a hell of a lot of work), I came up with another idea.

Firstly, I need to get back into drawing Red Wings comics. Secondly, I have a way to do that. Thirdly, it will be entertaining for you guys!

A few weeks ago, the ever lovely Ally (@TuzzisChinStrap on Twitter) made a comment about line combinations for this season involving Zetterberg and Datsyuk making smores and having sleepovers. So then I drew this doodle while at work (click to make it large):

Naturally, I feel the need to expand on the hilarity (and stupidity) that would follow. Especially since wherever there's a campfire, there's a Murph with hotdogs lurking in the shadows.

Come witness the hilarity of what happens when Datsyuk decides to have a bonfire in his backyard and simply sends out a mass text to his teammates and Red Wings alum. Come see Mickey Redmond confused by the lockout and making color commentary on the bonfire (Example: "Zetterberg finishes assembling his s'more and that's just a tic-tac-toe play.").

This is an easy way to add a little hilarity into our drab lockout.

The comic will be uploaded here (in a better quality than on a legal pad) and will be updated on would-be game days.

Stay tuned! The first one is up Friday October 12, because we all know we're just days away from the first two weeks of the season being canceled.

An Opportunity

We’re all in the same boat right now.

We’re all going through withdrawals of a lack of hockey due to the lockout. And even if there wasn’t a lockout, there wouldn’t be games yet anyway. But it’s the anticipation of countless months without our life, our breath, our faux-religion, our sport that is the very essence of our life sometimes.

And we’re all pissed off beyond belief. For the second time in the past eight years (and third time in Gary Bettman’s reign), we have to endure a work stoppage due to… who the hell even knows or cares at this point. We are fed up, and we want to be treated like we matter in this decision because, after all, we’re the ones who help bolster revenue, fan attendance, all the stuff they seem to argue over, and yet they never seem to count us in.

We bluff like we won’t come back. We lie and say, “We won’t watch games when this is all said and done, we’re done being jerked around!” But we cannot survive without our sport. They are making us suffer, and it isn’t fair.

We really shouldn’t have to suffer. We should be allowed to live in our fictional (or delusional) world where CBA negotiations ended back on July 1^st with both sides coming to terms on a new eight year CBA with very little strife between the two sides. We should be allowed to live in our fictional world where the 2012-13 season starts uninterrupted at the beginning of October. So let’s live in that fictional/delusional world!

Here’s what I’m proposing:

The Detroit Red Wings’ Mock 2012 Season

I had this idea last week when I lost all hope during negotiations. I want to mock up the results of games and write reviews of what would have happened, any significant injuries, awesome goals, outstanding players, lousy players, any miraculous returns of retired Swedish defensemen…stuff like that. Just so that we can pretend, at least for a few minute a day, that our team is still around and not spread all over Europe on teams that don’t have winged wheels on their jerseys.

I can’t be the only person to have thought of this option, but let me explain it a little bit first.

What It Is: Writing and posting articles the morning/day after a game would have taken place, giving the brief facts (date, game played, final score, goalie stats, who scored goals) and then launching into a recap of what happened – not necessarily a play-by-play account, but a thorough explanation of goals, saves, fights, penalties…anything you would want to know.

What It Is NOT: An excuse to have the Red Wings go 82-0 like that Verizon commercial with theFlyers’ perfect season where they lose in the first round of the playoffs. As much as we would love to see our team go undefeated in the regular season, that’s a little too farfetched.

I want this to be realistic. I want people to be upset if I have the Red Wings lose 6-2 against the Islanders or the Oilers and drop to third in our division, like they would be upset had it actually happened. I don’t want this to be a joy ride just to get our kicks. I want it to be as similar as possible to an actual 82- game season.

I want to experience a hockey season. And I know you do, too. All the wins, the losses, the heartaches, heart attacks, and the sheer willpower and nerves that goes into it all. I want hearts to break when injuries are announced just as the player was getting on a hot streak.

THE CATCH: I could do this by myself. I could make it extremely in depth and thorough, but I think my real life job would end up firing me for not doing my work. I could accomplish this on my own, but why would I want to do something like that? Why not give other diehard fans a chance to give their input on the outcome of games, or become a blogger for a game or two? Why leave all the creative fun to myself?

I do not know how much interest there will be in this; whether the number will be just a handful or whether it will be a staggering amount. I can’t be the first hockey blogger to think of this option.

Depending on how people react will depend on how I go about planning this. If there is a lot of interest and participants, I’ll set up a completely different blog and we’ll coordinate everything. If not, it will remain here at Franzenmuth (or perhaps over at the Red Wings section of The Checking Line. TBD).

If you have any interest at all – whether it be a guest writer for a game or twelve or just to give input on some of the matchups – please either leave a comment here or tweet/DM me on Twitter. I will contact you when I have a good grasp on how this is going to play out.

In the words of Red Green, "I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together."

Twitter: @franzenmuth

How Will You Survive?

Gary Bettman came out (of hiding) today to announce that if a deal is not struck between the two sides by September 15, there will be a lockout. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Naturally, panic is rising within all of us. I can feel my throat closing in anger and rage and my eyes starting to burn with tears - all at the mere thought of surviving another year without hockey. We've done it once before, and that was enough.

So how do we survive? There are options out there. And I could sit here and tell you what I personally plan to do, but that may not work for you.

So you tell me your ideas for surviving a lockout. They can be silly, serious, ridiculous, and anything in between.

Take up watching basketball? Sit in protest outside your team's arena and wait for tickets to go on sale? Start playing hockey in a recreation league? Make your basement into a bomb shelter and hide from the world for 365 days until hockey (hopefully) returns and act like nothing happened?

Tell me! Leave a comment on this article, or tweet me on Twitter (@franzenmuth). Because, in the words of Red Green, "I'm pulling for you - we're all in this together."