Homer's Literal Office

We all know that Mickey Redmond likes to say, "Homer's heading into his office..." and that Holmstrom's office is, in fact, the ice in front and on the edge of the crease. So back when we started the season off in Sweden, I said to myself, "What if Homer's office was a literal office?"

Lo and behold, I created this awesome comic movie of Tomas Holmtrom's Literal Office.



["Secretary Lidstrom" still kills me.]

The ZetterWedding

If you haven't been keeping up with the array of pictures that have been surfacing on the Internet from the ZetterWedding, you only really need to see one to understand this Red Wings comic.

It's this one.

It's the Zetterberg version of "Where's Waldo?" Once you find Datsyuk, you will see that he does not look entirely enthused about the swimwear. Lo and behold, I drew this quick little thing out of amusement.

Pavel Datsyuk Birthday Extravaganza!

In case you didn't know, today is Pavel Datsyuk's 32nd birthday. The man with the crazy dekeing abilities is another year older, another year wiser, and another year...well, awesome. He may have only won the Selke this year, but that Lady Byng will be on his mantle next year [if he didn't already dangle it away from St. Louis].

In honor of the Russian's birthday, I'll post some highlights of his for your enjoyment. Though I will forewarn you: if you have yet to watch hockey highlights this off-season and have a hard time dealing with no hockey, proceed with caution. Withdrawals may hit you suddenly.

Firstly, his dangling abilities. We all remember the hilarity of this one. Oh, those crazy Sharks. No wonder they're such chokers in the playoffs. [just kidding. but not really.]



Let's stay on the west coast for a second. Enjoy Datsyuk's ingenuity [in a playoff game, mind you] followed by Mickey Redmond having an audible heart attack.



This one is memorable. And jaw-dropping. I'm still sitting here, watching it for the umpteenth time, going, "How does he do that?!" Magic, people. Magic.



We all remember this one. I was in Washington DC, the Caps/Flyers game had just ended, and my friends and I were watching this unfold. When Datsyuk slowed way down at the end, I was thinking, "He's going to do that move the kid in Sweden did." Sure enough, he did.



Plus, Datsyuk is just adorable and hilarious. What does he do when his phone goes off during an interview? That's right - he starts dancing.



And lastly, that ever-famous slip-of-the-tongue by Andy Brickley on Versus.



There is no cure for Dangleitis, people, as you may or may not know. Datsyuk will be stuck with it for years to come. Despite his affliction, I'm sure his birthday today will be as amazing as ever. Happy birthday, Pavel. I can't wait to see your dangerous self back in action on the ice.

Midsummer Lull

If you haven't noticed, I don't update this thing very often in the off-season. Not that there's a lot to discuss, but I didn't do anything when Eaves or Miller were signed or even all of the Modano rumors. One reason is, well, I have been busy. But the other reason is that once the NHL Awards are said and done, I attempt to shut hockey out of my mind for at least a month and a half; if I don't, I have serious withdrawals. This year I'm smart and staying away from Youtube for as long as possible.

So here's a little post summing up what's left to do. It's not much, but it's something.

-Signing Helm and Abdelkader. Obviously I wanted Holland to sign them quickly so my anxiety could be reduced to a minimum. When they weren't signed within the first week or two, I was panicking. After the third week, however, when we had signed Eaves and Miller, I calmed down - especially when Holland said they wouldn't be signed until August. I'm patient.

-Mike Modano. Ahh, this situation. What hasn't been said about this? This is one fan that wouldn't mind Modano coming to Detroit. Hey - it could be similar to the Dallas Drake situation. And we all know how that turned out. I'll side with Babcock on this one, though I don't think he'll sign for two years right now - he'll take it a year at a time like Lidstrom.

-Laughing at Brett Lebda. Okay, maybe not laughing. When I initially found out, I was cracking up and I didn't know why. Then I went home and read everything he was saying and understood my humorous take on it.
Getting away from the hilarity of it, Toronto is a good fit for Lebda. I hope he does well and I hope Toronto fans don't kill him. He's a fast skater, so that's something.

-Tomas Homlstrom's Literal Office. The next Red Wings Comic movie. It probably won't be as amazing as Pavel Datsyuk in "A Case of Dangleitis" (which Greg Wyshynski on Puck Daddy said he found while he was browsing Youtube), but it will be amusing.

July is quickly dwindling away with August hot on its heels. And after August, there's the start of the school semester, along with the approach of Training Camp and Preseason games. Hockey will be with us soon enough.

Pavel Datsyuk in "A Case of Dangleitis"

I can finally share with all of you awesome blog-readers the latest installment of my Red Wings Comic! Let me give you some brief background information on why it's in movie-form.

Both my family and my next door neighbors' are huge Disney World addicts. When we went back in 2004, the neighbor kids made us a movie of (mostly) fictional, hilarious, and stupid things they did while we were gone. Since then, we've made movies back and forth (okay, they've been lazy - they've made us two, we've made them five).

In this latest movie, which was presented to them today, my brothers suggested I draw an "intermission movie" for it. The plot was the younger one's idea - I expanded on it a bit. I happily and proudly present to you: Pavel Datsyuk in "A Case of Dangleitis."

Courtesy of Urban Dictionary: Dangleitis (n): In hockey the term dangling is used to describe, crazy, or insane move, someone with dangleitis then is someone who uncontrollably can dangle.

Dangle (n): To use exemplary skill and stickhandling ability to maneuver oneself around the ice. Often displaying a variety of sick moves.



As always, if you want to see more hockey hilarity in comic form, you can go join drw_comic at Livejournal.

Probert's Passing

Bob Probert was before my hockey-watching time, but in no way does that mean I don't know anything about him. Being a hockey fan, you have to know the past as well as the present. You have to know the legends as well as the current stars. Bob Probert was a well-known star, who died before his time. It shocked the hockey world. News of his death made the "Where in the world will Ilya Kovalchuk sign?" waiting game seem unimportant.

Since I started watching hockey after he retired, I don't have many stories that involve Probert. None, actually. And the one I do have isn't even really about Probert nor is it even my story. I'll tell it anyway because it's a cool story and at the moment, any story is worth telling. You know, as long as it's tasteful.

Last summer, my friend/neighbor graduated from high school. He had a pretty kickass graduation party (moon slide. Enough said.). At said graduation party, I was sitting at a table with some friends of his dad's and let me tell you, pretty much everyone that family knows loves hockey. Somehow, the couple I was sitting with started reminiscing about the early 1990s in hockey. I wish I remembered the woman's name (I know her husband's, but that doesn't help), but I'm stealing her story anyway to post it here.

She was a huge Bob Probert fan. One afternoon in late 1991, there was an autograph session with a bunch of Red Wings players. She stood in line for hours just to get her jersey signed. Yet by the time she finally made it up to get her jersey signed, Probert had left.

And in her words, "So I had to have this nobody player sign my Probert jersey instead of him. It was this nobody defenseman named Nicklas Lidstrom."

I wish I could claim that story as my own because it's pretty awesome. I was glad I could hear it.

Farewell, Probie. Your legend will live on. Hockeytown (and Chicago) (and hell, the rest of the NHL) will never forget you. Rest in peace.

Pre-Free Agency Post

It's eleven hours before all hell breaks loose in the hockey world. Free agency. The glorious time in this godforsaken summer season when we can focus on the excitement of off-ice hockey for an entire day, sometimes even longer depending on how much we get into it.

And just like last year, I'm stuck working a midshift. I'm stuck constantly updating TSN on my iPhone, waiting for any updates. But this year, I'm not as concerned for the Wings as I was last year. Last year, I was freaking out about Hossa. Last year, I wanted to keep him and I believed that Ken Holland could do it. So when I read where he signed and for how long/much, I literally ran into all of the stores of the strip mall I work in and told all of the hockey fans. It was a sad day for me. Sometimes I do still miss Hossa.

But this year, I'm not as concerned.

Ken Holland has stated that we won't be making any major moves - we need some cheap, solid players for the third and fourth lines and a defenseman for the last pair. The defenseman isn't super important, either, because he's said that he could see Kindl and some of the other Griffins battling it out for that last spot.

We have to sign pretty much all of our RFAs, but I honestly can't see them leaving. Maybe Eaves or Miller, but Miller's back in his home state and Eaves...I can't see him having a better role anyplace else. Or maybe that's just my sleepiness talking at this point.

The only play I think will leave is Lilja. Why? Because everything I've read in the past few days has said that Lils wants a bigger role as a D-man and he knows he can't get that here. I would love to keep him for another year, which I definitely wasn't saying two years ago. I will miss Lilja if he leaves; our relationship with him has been tumultuous at best - shoddy defense leading to weak goals yet he played solid PK, a terrible career-threatening injury because of a stupid fight he didn't need to get into, yet he came back from that and definitely helped our PK and he played good hockey. I realized that I did, in fact, miss him. I'm not sure if I want to see another Swede leave our Swedish ranks.

But despite Lils and the RFAs, I don't know what else there is to say at this point. I hope we can keep Abdelkader and Helm for sure; Eaves and Miller are good bonuses.

Oh hey, weren't we supposed to hear something about The Joe's lease today [technically yesterday]? Did they extend talks because the people running the city of Detroit are idiots? As long as they don't rope Ilitch into a five-year extension. Three I can handle - anything more is pushing it.